


Evaporated Reason

by AleneShazam



Category: Fate/Apocrypha, Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Astolfo fucks a nondescript girl who is their master, Astolfo is they/them nonbinary, Gratuitous Smut, Listen I'm just doing this for a friend, Nonbinary Astolfo, Nonbinary Character, Other, Second Person Protagonist, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-02 20:28:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16312160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AleneShazam/pseuds/AleneShazam
Summary: You are an unwitting master in a nondescript Grail War, and your servant is none other than the Knight of Evaporated Sanity, Astolfo. You love your impulsive knight to death, but between always goofing off and constantly being beaten by more competent servants, one day you decide that enough is enough, and that it's time to 'discipline' Astolfo.And by discipline I mean fuck. Fuck them real good.[You x Astolfo smutfic, gratuitous self insert smut. Heads up, the POV is a cis female!]





	Evaporated Reason

“We’re home~!” “We’re home…”

Two very different voices ring out as the front door swings open. You groan as you untie your shoes, kicking them off haphazardly to let your sore feet breathe at last. The battles today were pretty lopsided, as far as the fights were concerned. You were on the back foot for most of it, fighting a retreating battle from alley to alley, ducking and diving to avoid being pulverized by the monstrous strength of your opponents. It’s been like that since this whole Grail War thing started and you were coerced by that shady priest guy into joining the fray. A cycle of retreat and getting beaten and desperately learning magic to somehow make up the difference in skill between you and the other masters.

The promise of any wish being granted is tempting, but you have to fight your way to it. That’s actually not so bad considering a servant does most of the fighting for you, but… your servant is _that._

“I’ll head inside first, Master~~” The pink-haired knight waltzes by you, their long braid trailing behind them like a ribbon in the wind. They give you a toothy smile, seemingly ignorant to how battered the both of you look, and skips breezily into the house. You watch as the knight pirouettes playfully mid-step, before disappearing behind the hallway door. You sigh, running a hand through your hair.

Your servant is Astolfo, one of the Twelve Paladins of Charlemagne. While their title seems impressive, the resulting servant is anything but. Ditzy, reckless, and thoroughly lacking in foresight, Astolfo has thus far been more of a danger to yourself than your enemies, drawing unwanted attention from every enemy servant in a 5 mile radius whenever you bring them along outside. There’s more than enough bruises and bandaged wounds all over your body to show all the times their antics fell flat.

Shrugging of your coat and putting it on the hanger, you head into your house as well, collapsing onto the couch with an audible sigh of relief. You feel yourself sinking into the cushions, the stress of another day of frantic retreats and close-calls bleeding out of you into the soft plush pillows. You’re really not cut out for this, you think, all this fighting and strategizing and what not. You’re just a regular girl who just so happens to have a magus in her bloodline, what, a hundred years ago? And the Grail just so happens to choose you to be the final master, amongst a myriad of frankly super-human candidates. You’ve heard that one of the other masters can fight a servant hand to hand with fisticuffs— scary, too scary, right? No way you can fight monsters like that.

You hear carefree humming and the rush of water coming from the bathroom, and you look over to see the blurry silhouette of Astolfo stripping down through the bathroom screen door, probably getting ready for a shower. You sigh again, envious of how happy-go-lucky your servant is.

When you asked, in the early days of the Grail War, how Astolfo managed to be so blasé with everything, they had replied to you with a noncommittal, “I dunno! I just do what I want, when I want, if it feels good, and usually it works out~~” which is, irresponsible for sure, but also strangely seems to work for them somehow, so even if you’re skeptical, you’ve let them be for the moment.

Though, with every passing day, and every subsequent defeat, your resolve and trust in the methodology of your unreliable servant has waned. You’re still going to stick with them until the end, of course - despite their… _irritating_ points, they’re still a good person at heart and frankly, just incredibly enjoyable to be around. You’ve developed a fondness for them, though you sorely wish they’d change their ways. If only they used their Noble Phantasms in an actually strategic manner…

Ah, but that’s wishful thinking.

It’s impossible. After all, your servant is the Knight of Evaporated Sanity. Asking them to act in a logical, coherent manner is… a bit of a stretch.

The bathroom door slides open suddenly, and Astolfo steps out, wrapped up in one of your large bath towels. The towel hangs well off of their petite figure, and suddenly you feel an unpleasant irritation well up inside you. You take care to live a healthy lifestyle, and Astolfo eats like a person possessed, and yet your bodies…

“Master, what’s the matter? Are you tired? If you keep frowning like that, you’ll get wrinkles, you know~?” Astolfo says, giving you a dazzling smile as they comes up and stands next to the couch. “Cheer up! You have me with you, don’t you?”

Ah—

You feel something snap inside you, and you slowly rise to your feet, looming over Astolfo (by a couple of centimeters, but it counts!) “M-Master?” Astolfo’s smile slips a little, sensing something a bit amiss, and they take an involuntary step back. “Is something the matter…? Ah, your smile is a little, uh, worrying…?”

“Whose fault is that, I wonder…?” You ask, your voice trembling slightly. “Whose fault is it that I’m like this?”

“I, uh,” Astolfo gulps, and takes a step back. “…Gilgamesh…?”

“Who used the La Black Luna to, and I quote, ‘Scare pigeons’? Who decided it was a good idea to pester Berserker with the Trap of Argalia?” You growl, advancing on Astolfo, who starts to back up until you’ve got his back against the sliding door to the patio. “Who thought that, against Gilgamesh, _the_ Gilgamesh, it would be a good idea to use the Casseur de Logistille because they’re ‘ _magic swords_ ’?!”

“Ah…” a bead of sweat rolls down Astolfo’s brow. “…Me?”

“I’m going to teach you a lesson, Astolfo. Spiritual Costume Unlock!” You intone, invoking your rights as Astolfo’s master. There’s a squeak of surprise as the towel wrapped around Astolfo falls to the ground, revealing their naked form - and the beads of light that coalesce around Astolfo’s neck and your hand, which fade after a moment to reveal a collar and leash.

“E-Eh?” Astolfo looks at the leash in your hand in surprise, before belatedly realizing what they’re currently wearing on their neck: a pink leather collar, complete with a beautiful red bow that you figured they would appreciate. “Master, this—?!”

You tug on the leash, causing Astolfo to stumble forward, falling onto their hands and knees. “You’ll do anything for your Master, right?” You ask, your voice sickly sweet, like honey. When Astolfo doesn’t immediately reply, you tug on their leash again, prompting, “Astolfo?”

“I, eh, uhm,” Astolfo looks up at you, their cheeks rapidly turning red as they realize what is taking place.

“Listen to your Master when you’re told,” You switch tactics, pulling slightly on the leash and instructing firmly. “Understood?”

“Yes, Master,” Astolfo nods meekly as you assume a more domineering air, for once following your orders. You smile thinly. This is fun.

“You’ve caused me a lot of trouble over the course of the month we’ve known each other,” You say, looking Astolfo straight in the eyes. “Do you know that?”

“Yes,” Astolfo mumbles. “I’m sorry, Master.”

“You’re sorry for what?” You prompt patiently.

“I’m sorry for causing you trouble,” Astolfo says, looking down guiltily. “I’m sorry I’m a weak Servant.”

You shake your head disapprovingly, reaching down to gently tilt Astolfo’s head up by the chin. “No… you’re a very good Servant. You just have to learn to follow orders. You can do that, right?” Astolfo nods, and you give them a gentle stroke along the cheek. “So… be a dear, and lick.”

“Wha…?—Mmn!” Before Astolfo can react, you tug on the leash suddenly, pulling Astolfo’s face directly between your thighs. “Lick,” you instruct again, and dutifully Astolfo presses their face up against you, beginning to eat you out through your tights and panties. Even through the layer of fabric, you can feel the warmth of their mouth and the little pinpricks from their fanged canines, sending a small shiver up your spine.

“Very good,” you croon, holding onto the leash with one hand and working your fingers into Astolfo’s hair with the other, gently pressing them against you. The pressure makes the pleasant sensations all the more apparent, and soon enough you start to feel yourself getting wet from Astolfo’s ministrations. “Very, vey good.”

Astolfo’s eyes seem to gleam at your expression of pleasure, as though to say, ‘praise me more!’ You smile at their eagerness, and pull their head away, letting go of their hair to give them a pat on the head. A quick check confirms that indeed, you’re pretty soaking wet from Astolfo’s little performance. “In due time, _mon petit lapin_.”

Astolfo freezes, and their cheeks colour redder than before, to a rosy pink. “Oh, you like that?” You say, grinning. Studying that little bit of French paid off. “You like being my little bunny, Astolfo?”

“Ah— jeez, Master,” Astolfo says, clearly flustered, “Don’t tease me like that~”

“Oh, you think I’m teasing you _now?_ ” You smirk, giving the leash a tug to prompt Astolfo to stand up. “I’ve not even started, _la lapine._ ”

As Astolfo rises to their feet, you take a moment to admire their (mostly) naked form. Their frame is slender and lithe, not a spare inch of fat on their body. Despite their skin seeming silky smooth, you know from experience underneath that flawless exterior lean muscle that can conjure monstrous strength. Their hips are wide, forming an almost perfect hour-glass figure with supple curves that compliments their svelte physique. And of course, their hair, which falls across their shoulders in a cascade of pink, seems to glow in the sunset light.

You feel another stab of childish jealousy as you behold your Servant - it really isn’t fair how attractive Astolfo is. To begin with, isn’t Astolfo a man in the legends? How come they look more girly and sexy than you? They look like a perfectly put together doll.

“…Master?” Astolfo asks tentatively, shaking you from your reverie. Taking just a moment to gather yourself, you look at them, and say, “It’s not fair that you’re the only one without clothes, is it? Strip me.”

Astolfo nods obediently, and you hold your arms out, smiling to yourself as you watch your Servant get to work dressing you down. There’s a pleasure in watching your unruly, irrational servant be like putty in your hands, following your every order. You wonder how far you can push things… but you quickly dispel the darker thoughts from your head. Astolfo is still a Servant, a decidedly superhuman existence. You don’t want to push them too far… not that things like that are even in your interests.

You shiver slightly as you feel Astolfo’s careful touch glide over your skin, shedding your shirt, pulling down your skirt and tights, delicately removing your undergarments and revealing your bare skin. “You’re so beautiful,” Astolfo murmurs, as they step back from their handiwork. “I thought so from the moment you summoned me.”

“I’m flattered,” you say, feeling a heat blossom on your cheeks and in your chest. Something about the childlike innocence that Astolfo speaks with makes you feel truly complimented. But now’s not the time to rest on your laurels - you take hold of the leash again, and order Astolfo to get on the couch.

They comply, sitting daintily on the edge of a cushion, looking at you expectantly as you circle around them and sidle in between them and the couch back. “Now,” you lean in, murmuring right in Astolfo’s ear and causing them to shiver. “You thought I was teasing you before?” You reach over their shoulder, slowly trailing your fingers down from their collarbone, along the line of their sternum, dancing over their belly button, until you find the prize you’ve been looking for, your arms now looped around Astolfo from behind in an embrace.

For someone as petite as Astolfo, they’re certainly not lacking in size - you trail a finger over their half-erect cock, delighting as they exhale a quiet sigh of pleasure. “Already at half-mast, are you? How shameless,” You breathe into their ear. “I bet you’re dying to touch yourself, hm?”

You take their cock into your hand, stroking over it gently, tenderly. You feel the gentle curve of it, admire every vein and fold in the skin, appraise it like a work of art. Astolfo moans quietly under their breath, and even with your feather-light touches, you feel it continue to grow in your hand until their cock is proudly erect. “Oh,” You murmur to yourself. You can’t help but be impressed at their size. “Well, this is a pleasant surprise.”

Unable to maintain your patience, and driven by a desire to see Astolfo squirm, you start to slowly pump their cock with your hand, starting at a nice, even pace that’s bound to drive them mad. Sure enough, before long they’re squirming in your grasp, their hip subtly bucking to try and milk more pleasure out of your ministrations. Feeling this, you simply let go, delighting as Astolfo whines at you, “Master… please don’t stop…”

“Then be a good little bunny and sit still,” you murmur, leaning over to give Astolfo a gentle kiss on the cheek before taking hold of their cock roughly, causing them to gasp in surprise. You squeeze the shaft, giving them a stern look. “I said, sit still.”

Astolfo squeaks at the rough treatment, but nods meekly, and seems to freeze up, putting their all into making no noise. You chuckle at their obedience, and resume jerking them off, each stroke slow and deliberate and designed to drive them _crazy_. You squeeze gently as you slide down towards the base, then as you move back up, gently massage the tip of the glans with your thumb, revelling as you feel Astolfo writhe within your embrace, whimpering and panting as they try to obey your command to stay quiet.

Murmuring an incantation, you cast one of the simply spells you know - summoning of objects from another place - and call to your hand the bottle of lube you had inside your nightstand. Pooling some in your hand, you change motions, move your hand up and gently massaging the tip of Astolfo’s glans with your palm.

“Does this feel good?” You ask, gleefully watching them suddenly flinch and fail stifle their moans as the new sensation of the lube catches them off guard.

“I—” Astolfo starts to say, before you give them a look that makes them fall silent, only nodding, though clearly flustered. Their breathing is a little uneven, and when they look at you their eyes have a kind of cloudy, unfocused quality.

“Mm… do you want me to go faster?” You ask, smirking as Astolfo nods eagerly. “Well, since you’ve been such a good Servant…”

You move back to grip their shaft firmly, and this time, with the aid of the lube, start to give him a handjob in earnest, pumping your hand over their cock and causing them to instantly gasp and start bucking their hips unbidden. You entertain the thought of punishing them again for moving, but you dismiss the thought, letting them have their fun for now.

“Ngh… Master,” Astolfo gasps, squirming as you stroke up their shaft, sliding your hand over their glans and massaging the very tip of their cock. “Master, I— I’m going to cum,” they moan, hunching over as you stroke their cock with increasing firmness and speed. “Your hands are— _Ah_ , I’m going to—!”

Just as you feel their cock start to twitch on the brink of orgasm, you smirk and pull your hand away, watching gleefully as Astolfo bucks their hips uselessly against the air, their cock bouncing with their thrusting. “Master~” Astolfo whines, looking at you desperately. “I was so close…”

“I did say I was going to tease you,” you say, thoroughly pleased with yourself. “Didn’t I?”

“…You did…” Astolfo admits reluctantly, their breathing still uneven from your handjob.

“And you’ve done a good job being an obedient little bunny so far,” You hum ponderously. “Maybe I should let you have your reward.”

Astolfo perks up at the mention of a reward. “W-What is that, Master?”

You smile, and murmur under your breath again. This time, appearing in your hand is a harness, with a imposing looking pink coloured strap-on attached. “How about… this?” You ask, glancing at Astolfo to gauge their reaction. As you look, you realize they’re staring at the harness, slack-jawed, positively drooling at the sight of it. Astolfo’s cock is already fairly sizeable, but the strap-on is even more impressive. To be honest, you wouldn’t be too eager taking something that size on, but you suppose Astolfo is nothing if not fearless and impulsive.

“Liking what you see?” You ask, holding it in front of them. Astolfo seems entranced, only nodding slightly in response to your question. Smirking at how desperate your Servant is, you start to put on the harness as you instruct Astolfo to turn around, and brace themself against the backrest of the couch. “And just… wait there,” you finish, admiring how Astolfo’s hips sway as they clamber up onto the couch, turning their back to you and practically presenting their pert butt.

“So _eager_ ,” you comment idly, chuckling as you watch Astolfo stammer an unconvincing objection. You move with practiced ease, strapping on the harness, making sure the vibrator inside is positioned correctly so that Astolfo isn’t the only one to be pleasured by the toy. Once everything is secured, you pour a handful of lube over the strap-on, and push forward with your hands on their hips, grinding the toy against their ass and feeling them shiver in anticipation. “It’s quite alright if you’re looking forward to this. After all…”

You position the dildo against their entrance, and slowly start pressing against them, going at a snail’s pace to enjoy Astolfo’s needy panting. “Rabbits love to be bred, don’t they?”

Without any other warning, you thrust your hips, and the thick dildo slides into Astolfo, immediately filling them up and causing them to cry out in surprise, and a mix of pain and pleasure. “What’s the matter, Astolfo? Aren’t you a Rider?” You ask, as you continue to push, until about half of the girthy toy is inside of your Servant. “You should be an expert at this.”

“ _Nnh_ ,” Astolfo gasps, before briefly collecting themselves to give you a confident smile. “O-Of course, Master! Something like this is… _ahn!…_ No problem at all…! _Mhn…!_ ” You laugh - even their sentence is punctuated by cute little moans and gasps as you continue to slide more and more of the toy into them.

“Oh? Then you shouldn’t have any qualms if I do this?”

Astolfo’s eyes widen, and they open their mouth to say something, but before they can, you thrust forward plunging the entirety of the dildo into their ass, silencing Astolfo as they double over, gripping onto the leather of the couch for dear life as they try to adjust to the object inside them.

“I’m going to start thrusting now,” You say, and Astolfo can only let out a weak moan before you start moving, slowly sliding the dildo in and out of them at an even pace. Astolfo gasps every time you thrust into them, their back arching when you push all the way in, made more obvious as you bunch up and tug on their hair, tilting their head back and leaving them panting at the ceiling.

You can’t help but marvel at how Astolfo responds to you fucking them. Their body relaxes and tenses in time with your thrusts, their whole body moving with you in a constant stream of push and pull. Even through the inanimate toy, you swear you can feel Astolfo’s inside squeezing, clenching and milking the member for all they’re worth.

Then you start to pick up speed.

At first Astolfo seems to keep up, moving in time with your thrusts, pushing back against you so as much of the toy enters them as possible with every thrust. But as you start to speed up, Astolfo starts to falter, unable to maintain their movements, until you’re pounding them, pushing them forward and pressing them against the sofa back. Every thrust, Astolfo lets out a loud moan, long since unable to keep themselves quiet. Their knees are barely holding them up at all - they’d collapse if they aren’t holding onto the backrest, and you aren’t consistently thrusting into them.

“Ah, f- _fuck_ ,” Astolfo gasps, their breathing erratic and uneven. Whenever you thrust, you knock the wind out of them, and they arch their back desperately to try and catch a breath, but just as they recover you thrust again, and they forget to breathe as the pleasure of being filled up so completely overwhelms them. “ _M-Master~_ ”

“You’re doing so good,” You coo, whispering gentle nothings into their ear as you roughly fuck their ass, every motion pressing the vibrator against yourself and sending shivers and shocks of pleasure up your spine. “You’re so good, little bunny _~_ ”

Astolfo can only whimper now, babbling incoherently as they’re practically just hanging off of your dildo, their breathing ragged as you ravage their insides. More than once, the toy rubs up against their g-spot, and their whole body spasms, wracked by an overwhelming pleasure that robs whatever remaining sanity they have away. You thrust a few more times, and reach down, around their hip and grasping their cock, starting to stroke and compounding what they feel.

“M-M- _Mnh—_ Master, I _— Ahn!_ ” Astolfo moans, their voice quavering and threatening to crack as you attack them from both sides, thrusting into them furiously while you pump away at their cock with your hand.

“What is it, my dear?” You ask gently, contrary to your rough treatment of their petite form - they can take it, they’re a Servant, far more durable than a normal human.

You thrust again, just as Astolfo is about to speak, and their voice goes up an octave: “I’m c-cumming! _M-Master_ , _I’m_ … _!_ ”

“Cum for me,” you whisper, not letting up your furious pace as Astolfo’s body shakes and writhes from pleasure, continuing to pump their cock as it starts to twitch and jump.

Astolfo cries out, an incoherent babble of overstimulation, as they cum hard, clamping down on the thick dildo as their cock throbs and spurts out streams of thick, sticky cum, spraying the couch while their body shakes as they continue to ride out the orgasm, weakly quivering against the couch backrest. They continue to shudder for a few seconds, letting out soft gasps and whimpers as they gradually come down from the orgasm.

As the climax ebbs away, you reluctantly pull out, the dildo making a wet suction noise as you slide it out from inside Astolfo, and with a quick flick of a switch, the vibrator quiets down as well. While you were fucking Astolfo back into the Throne of Heroes, you had a small orgasm of your own - not nearly as dramatic as Astolfo’s of course, but you’re satisfied for now. You loosen the harness, and slide out of it pretty easily, letting it fall beside the couch. You’ll pick it up later.

Astolfo is catching their breath, still leaning against the couch. You move your hand over where they came all over the couch and muttering another incantation, you clean the mess up lest it stain - though not before having a little taste of their cum. Licking your fingers clean, you wave a hand, and the cum trails vanish, leaving a pristine couch and only a little sweaty Astolfo.

Sinking into the couch, you pull Astolfo towards you, letting them rest their head on your shoulder as you cuddle in the afterglow. “You were so good, _mon petit lapin._ My little bunny.” You murmur, nuzzling Astolfo, who smiles tiredly. Putting on your authoritative voice once more, you ask, “Are you going to be good now?”

“Yes, Master, I’ll be good,” Astolfo simpers, before you both grin and break into tired laughter.

“Good, because I don’t think I can pull that off very often,” you admit. That was amazing, but your hip is already getting kind of sore.

“At least I’ll have plenty of mana to go around!” They giggle, and you can’t help but grin as well. Their laughter is kind of infectious. After a few moments they calm down again, and smile at you, their rosy eyes twinkling with affection and energy. “I’m sorry I haven’t been… the most useful Servant,” they say. You go to shake your head, about to say that as long as Astolfo is safe that you don’t mind the shenanigans but they continue, cutting you off, “This era is really interesting to me, so I can’t help but be overexcited…”

“But from now on,” their eyes gleam, this time with a firm determination, at last befitting of a Paladin of Charlemagne. “Let’s win the Grail, okay? The two of us, together.”

You nod, feeling their confidence influence your own mood. “Yeah.”

But then they giggle and glomp you, and the both of you tumble backwards into the couch with them on top of you. “Tomorrow! Today doesn’t count. I can still goof off today.”

“Mm… okay.” You concede, letting Astolfo nestle into you.

“So… what are you going to wish for when you get the Grail, Master?”

“Mmm… I’m not sure, actually.”

“I have an idea!” Astolfo says, hugging you and pulling you close against them. “Wish that I’ll stay with you forever, Master!”

“…Ah. That’s actually not a bad idea.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Well. My first and probably last Fate/ fic, and of course it features Astolfo. 
> 
> Astolfo is they/them nonbinary because it makes the most sense imo.
> 
> Also: inb4 french corrections, I don't speak french. Not much, anyway. I asked a friendd.


End file.
